Leave it to Weaver

I have developed a couple of theories. The first is that anyone who is now, ever has been or ever will be involved with OPEC is a fascist. Well, that’s not really a theory – it’s a definitional fact supported by innumerable actions perpetrated since the inception of OPEC in the early 1970s.

The second involves the OPEC-induced gasoline prices that continue to rise like the bile in my throat every time I fill up at Citgo, realizing exactly how much money I’m pissing away for 12 gallons of regular unleaded.

Representatives of the cartel of Middle Eastern oil-producing countries yesterday said they will cut oil production by about 1 million barrels per day beginning today – a move that only promises to drive American gasoline prices even higher.

The latest headlines on cnn.com say OPEC is cutting production despite crude oil prices, but it should be blatantly obvious to all involved that they are in fact cutting production because of inflated prices.

The root cause of the inflation was a flood of rumors introduced into the futures market in mid-winter – spurred by requests for such made by the government of Algiers – that crude oil production cuts would be happening much sooner, driving the price per barrel to the highest levels in nearly 13 years.

But those prices per barrel dropped by a full 4 percent yesterday when Wall Street investors caught wind of a U.S. Government report saying that a cut in production would not hurt the U.S. markets because OPEC nations had been leaking about 1 million barrels per day over their previous quota for several months. Turns out there is plenty of oil floating around out there, so OPEC’s chessboard maneuvering just might have the converse effect of what they expected – and that’s got mainly to due with the spring climate here in the States.

We’ve got a precious few months yet before the summer driving season overloads the market and drives the supply down, coinciding with the reprieve brought by dwindling usage of heating oil as temperatures steadily rise.

So, with all that being said, car-owning residents of Northwest Arkansas should be able to enjoy between two and four weeks of $1.42 per gallon instead of $1.48. Hoo-rah, ladies and gentlemen, hoo-rah.

But there is a bright side. OPEC members Kuwait and United Arab Emirates have been arguing lately that OPEC administration should at least consider postponing planned cutbacks in production to allow prices to simmer a bit before totally ramming us in the rear.

Thanks a million, Kuwait, for trying to defer the mass raping of U.S. pocketbooks. I just knew you’d get our back eventually – seeing as how we saved yours.

Matt Weaver is chief designer. His column appears on Thursdays.