There’s a semi-new sport that’s sweeping the country.

You see its handiwork on t-shirts, on the back glass of pickup trucks, and even sometimes on Sportscenter. This sport that’s triangle choking the nation into submission is mixed martial arts, or MMA.

As far as combat sports go, it’s the sexy pick. It’s an easy sport to pick up, it’s becoming more and more accessible throughout the country, and by throwing on any “Tap Out” t-shirt, you have proclaimed to the public you are, no questions asked, one bad mofo.

Well, I ain’t buying it. I think it’s brutal. I think it’s unsporting. I think it’s almost barbaric. Somehow, despite my complaints, MMA, and its flagship league, The Ultimate Fighting Championship, is bulldozing through the gyms, merchandise and the pay-per-views. And painfully, regrettably, it’s swallowing up the true king of combat sports –   boxing.

Boxing is fluid and scientific; it’s a thinking man’s game – if that man can get punched in the face and still think. MMA is hard-headed and brutal. Kicking a man in the face while he’s down isn’t very sporting.

That’s why I cringed this weekend when I heard there was a high-profile “MMA vs. boxer” match on pay-per-view. The fight pitted perhaps the ambassador of MMA, Randy Couture, versus James “Lights Out” Toney, a current heavyweight boxer.

Age-wise, both men are past their fighting prime – Couture is 47 and Toney is 42. Both men have accomplished great things in their careers – Couture is a former heavyweight and light heavyweight champ, and Toney, a multiple former champ himself, is 72-6-3 in his 22-year career.

But no matter who the combatants are, the win will always go to the fighter that’s competing in his sport. Toney stood no chance. Zero. There are too many things to defend against in MMA and punching is virtually eliminated from the situation when you can tackle and throw people down. To be a great MMA fighter, you have to be well-rounded in many aspects of offensive and defense, but you can lose to a chump off the street that has a better takedown than you.

 Not in boxing. You line up, touch gloves and tell your opponent, “I’m going to attack you from one area, my hands. Let’s see who can outwit and outhit.”

And boxing is a marathon, not a sprint. It’s 12 rounds of strategy, toughness, footwork and patience. MMA is a whirlwind of knees, elbows, chokes and grabs. Or at least that’s how it’s supposed to be. When it goes slow, it goes really slow. How big of a letdown is it to pay $40 to watch two men do the horizontal tango the entire fight?

Let’s take a moment to think about what would have happened if Couture and Toney would’ve boxed. It would have been just as lopsided as the MMA contest, but Couture wouldn’t lose in the first round like Toney did. Toney would have outmaneuvered, outthought and outclassed Couture for 12 rounds.

There’s a pureness to boxing that mixed martial arts lacks, which is perpetuated by Dana White, the president of the UFC. He has reality shows – think Big Brother with head trauma – he uses the f-bomb like its his favorite adjective, and he brings in guys of the street with no experience, see Kimbo Slice, and throws them into the fray, which only demeans the sport.

That being said, I realize that as an organization, boxing is in the dump. The sport lacks big names, quality fighters and there are too many federations and belts. And sadly, the only two men that can save it won’t fight each other.

I firmly believe that if I had the opportunity to see any sporting event that could ever happen, I would choose to see Ali v. Tyson. The two clashing personalities would explode violently in the ring, and the fight would be about wit just as much as skill. My pick, Tyson in six. I don’t believe Ali’s pre-fight head games and taunting would work on the psychotic Tyson.

That’s the great thing about boxing. It’s framed to showcase every detail of a fighter – their strategy, their toughness, their weaponry. It’s a stand-up, no funny business war of attrition.

Once a MMA fight hits the mat, America should change the channel.

Danny Meyer is the assistant sports editor for The Arkansas Traveler. His column appears every Wednesday.